Something that we touched on in our conversation with Cedar Counseling and Wellness the other day is that there are many types of anxiety. Its not one size fits all. There’s generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, panic disorder, and social anxiety. Any one of these can be caused by a number of things such as stress, traumatic events, thyroid problems, caffeine/sugar intake, hormone imbalance, etc. For some, they develop anxiety during childhood while others in adulthood. One thing that they all have in common though is that they can be a struggle.

For those of us walking with anxiety it can like we’re all alone but we’re not. In fact, anxiety happens to be the most prevalent mental condition in the U.S. with over 40 million Americans experiencing it. That’s a lot of people! Even so, for those dealing with it, it can be scary, frustrating and isolating. You may be aware of what will trigger your type of anxiety to come on while other times it just happens.

There have been countless times in my life where I’ve felt this happen - where my social anxiety suddenly comes on and I feel as if there is nothing I can do about it but ride it out. To be honest, sometimes that’s all we can do - experience the feelings and then let them pass. However over the years, I’ve found that there are some tips and tricks that have helped me cope and go about my day-to-day living, that I would love to share with you; specifically for those struggling with social anxiety.

Having a mint or a piece of gum in my mouth. I had no idea until recently, that there have been studies done that say that doing so helps with social anxiety!
Breathing. Making every effort to breath deeply. When it comes to anxiety, our breathing can sometimes become very shallow.
Focusing all my energy on the person in front of me. Giving them my full attention, loving them. I’ll try to let everything use fade into the background, including myself, other people around me, etc.
“Warming up” by going out to do a couple small errands first (i.e. popping into Target and talking to the cashier). This gets me used to talking to people, smiling at them, breathing, etc. It gives me confidence before going on to whatever meeting/gathering I’m heading to.
Talking to a friend on the phone prior to meeting up with people. This gets me “warmed up” and helps me to feel relaxed.
Being mindful of my thoughts. Identifying what is “true” and what is “false”. For those of us who tend to struggle with social anxiety, we can often replay things in our mind, beating ourselves up for what we said or how we acted. Try to stop these thoughts in their track.
Being mindful when it comes to my schedule. When scheduling my week or month, I try to space things out in a way where I have buffer days or times in between, so that I have time to rest.

Another tip, which we discussed with Cedar Counseling & Wellness, is exposure therapy. I remember a few years ago when my anxiety was at its worst I would practice this at work. At the time I was in retail, so I HAD to interact with people (a struggle for someone dealing with social anxiety!). I remember telling myself at the time, “okay, today, I’m going to go and talk to that customer for 2 minutes. I’m going to look them in the eye and breathe and smile.” Then the next week, “okay, I’m going to go and talk to that person for 5 minutes.” It was hard but so helpful. Just one step at a time.

The biggest tip that I would give to someone struggling with social anxiety is to know that you are not alone. You are so loved. You have friends and family (and counselors) who would love to walk through this with you if you will let them in. And lastly, that this thing that you are walking through - so many others are as well - walk with them, and encourage one another.

If you are struggling with any type of anxiety, I would loving suggest reaching out to a counselor near you (or Cedar Counseling & Wellness, if up in the Annapolis area!). These professionals are there to help and support you.

CREATIVE DIRECTION: Making Room for Peace | PHOTOGRAPHY: Jenna Miller Photography

7 Things that Helped My Social Anxiety